day 3: bless me father for I have sinned...

Day 3:  I was supposed to make it "over the hump" and then I'd be okay.  Well, I got stuck on the tip of the hump and ate 2 meatballs while I was teetering on the ledge of full indulgence and just a taste  (at least they were homemade meatballs by me).   So, that's right.  You heard correctly.  I, Nicole Burke, am a cheater.  What is the saying...?   "Cheaters never win and winners never cheat."  No, maybe it's "Quitters never win and winners never quit".. either way, I lost.

Okay, so confessions aside, today started off fantastic.  I felt good, I felt healthy, I felt thinner!  I'm always (well, these past few days) in a positive frame of mind until lunch/early afternoon rolls around and the true hunger kicks in.  I swear to god if I didn't have a baby/husband to "cook for" (by choice), I'd be super successful on this damn juice fast.  But I tell you... it's *so* hard watching your baby eat a spicy black bean veggie burger.  Or blueberries.  Or the homemade meatballs you JUST made and the delicious looking spaghetti (I don't even like spaghetti usually!).

To combat the deliciousness of meatballs simmering in a homemade veggie based gravy/sauce (we say gravy), I made a (supposed to taste like) V8 juice.  You can imagine my disappointment when it tasted nothing like the tomato-y deliciousness that is V8.  I juiced the following to make my "V8" juice: red onion, carrots, celery, green pepper, red pepper, tomatoes.  It's not horrible, but it's definitely *not* V8.

This morning started off with a juice with the following: oranges, pears, spinach... and I can't remember what else.  That might have been it.  My midday juice was pretty delicious and it consisted of: kale, celery, pineapple, kiwi, grapefruit... and, I have no clue.  Man oh man, a juice fast really messes with your memory!

Tomorrow I'm excited to juice grapefruit, pineapple, kiwi, plums, peaches... and more.  I went on a produce run today and have lots of fresh fruits & veggies waiting in the fridge for me!  I also have leftover meatballs in the fridge, but those aren't waiting for me.  They're waiting for Cora.

I must stay strong!

Juice on peeps!

day 2: this still sucks.

Last night I had flu-like symptoms.  Literally, I felt like I had the flu.  I felt like I had a fever, I felt body-achey, head-achey and overall really crummy.  This led me to google symptoms on the 1st day of a fast.  I'd heard the "release of toxins" during a fast/cleanse or even during a deep tissue massage, can give you flu-like symptoms.  After a quick google search I found other individuals sharing their symptoms on the first day of a juice fast: headache, nausea, flu-like aches, etc.  Check, check & check.  Sounds fun, doesn't it?  I read that you should really try to drink as much water as possibly to "flush out the toxins".  So, I chugged some more water and went to bed early (well, early for me).

I woke up this morning feeling okay.  I was motivated again and ready to juice.  Things were going well up until close to lunchtime... and then I started to crash.  I was just so damn hungry.  I powered through and chugged as much water as possibly (I think I've had around 100oz today).  However, early afternoon I was really hungry.  In the middle of making my afternoon/dinner juice I cheated.  Yes, folks, I took 2 bites of a peach, 1 bite of a plum, ate the meat off the fruit off the pits and had a few (literally - like 3?) blueberries.  And afterward? I felt guilty.  I felt like a failure.  Who eats 3 bites of fruit and feels like a failure?  This girl right here.  What I told myself was - what is the big difference of biting into the peach or squishing it and drinking it's juiced/pulpy form?  Well, there's a reason why you're only supposed to juice and not eat on this fast, so I told myself I will not do that again... unless, I'm like, dying of starvation.  Did I mention I'm hungry?

So what have I juiced today? Here's the list: beets, spinach, apples, kale, pears, blueberries (which are a total waste juiced - I'm not making this mistake again!), oranges, lemons, peaches, nectarines, plums, ginger and carrots.  I think that is it.  You can't fault me for memory loss - I'm only drinking liquids these days!

Know what sucks?  Watching your baby eat dinner when you can't eat food.  As it is babies make everything look good, and that's not even counting when you're on a juice fast!  The veggie burger, the peas, the cheese oozing out of the quesadilla I made her.... wtf!  I swear to you I had to hold myself back from eating a flake of tortilla or a piece of gooey cheese.  Seriously, how delicious is cheese?  And peas... when peas look delicious, you know you have a problem.  And although I'm watching her eat peas and blueberries and cheese... I'm fantasizing about eating pizza.  Not a slice, not 2 slices... but an entire cheese pizza.  Truth is, I've never done this.  But these days?-- I think I could!  What's ridiculous is the whole point of this juice fast is to re-train and re-program my body to become healthier and then want to eat more fruits and veggies and micronutrient foods.  Not me, I find myself counting down the moments until this experience is over so I can go get said pizza and devour it. 

I really hope this gets easier...  People who I've spoken to who have done this fast before say you just gotta get past day 3.  Tomorrow is day 3.  I really hope things get easier and better (see, I'm repeating myself... this is what starvation does to you!).  If not, I'll be dreaming of pizza and blending fruit and veggies.

Ta, ta for now friends!

this must be what hell feels like: juicing - day 1

After I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead", I knew I wanted to do a juice fast.  I felt motivated, inspired and excited after the film ended.  I went out and bought a juicer (like probably everyone else did after they saw that movie!) and I began juicing.  At the time I was pregnant and therefore could not do a juice fast.  I did incorporate juices into my diet and enjoyed it.  After my baby was born, I was nursing and could not do a juice fast.  I'm no longer nursing and figured now is as good a time as any to embark on a juice fast journey.  What is a juice fast?  It is basically drinking fruits and vegetables.  And no, this isn't Mott's apple juice or Ocean Spray, this is me pushing carrots and celery through tiny blades to extract the juice.  I figure this juice fast will "detox" my body, shock my little deteriorating cells, and (hopes of all hopes!) shed some unwanted pounds.

                                                        my ready-to-juice fridge contents



So, why am I sharing this with all of you?  Well, I figure you guys can keep me honest.  I'm assuming you're out there reading this, and maybe no one is, but if I *think* someone is then I'll hopefully stick with it. 

 

my juicer and some remnants

Why do I need the support?  Because this sucks.  Today has been really hard.  I have been light headed, have had a headache and (shock horror!) am hungry.  Very hungry.  So hungry I wanted to steal the peas and cheese quesadilla off my daughter's high chair tray.  Thankfully, I'm nearing the end of day one.  What have I juiced today you ask?  Here's a list: apples, beets, pears, plums, peaches, blueberries, kiwis, celery, spinach, carrots, kale, ginger and lemon.  My morning juice tasted pretty good, now at almost 7:30pm I'm semi-struggling to drink this.  It doesn't taste bad necessarily, I'm just sick of drinking fruits and vegetables.  My treat can be hot water with lemon. Fun.  Around dinner time I hit rock bottom (yes, already) and called my husband.  I said something along the lines of: "I can't do this.  This sucks.  I hate this"... etc.  He reminded me that I really want this and talked me off the ledge.  So, I continue... drinking my nutrients, drinking water and peeing.  Peeing an awful lot.

Here's to 9 more days of hell.