I still pee when I sneeze.

Hi, I'm Nicole and I still pee when I sneeze.  Now, don't laugh at me.  It's true; at times, depending upon the force of the sneeze and the degree to which I need to pee, I will pee (a bit) when I sneeze.  If you're judging me or laughing at me you're one of 2 people: 1) a man 2) a female who has yet to push a baby out her vagina.  Yes, I said vagina in my blog.  Now, I know there are things you can do to help this... ie kegal exercises - but who has time for that?  And honestly, it doesn't happen that often, so I figure I'll just sneeze lightly and pack extra underwear. I'm kidding. Kind of.  But for real, child birth is intense.  And crazy shit happens when you labor and then push a 9 pound HUMAN through a hole that was once barely visible.  Your bones literally stretch open, and all kinds of scary things thin, stretch and aide in the birthing process of a baby.  So, don't judge my inability to hold it until you've figured out a way to push a grape through the eye of a needle.

                                      (Look at those cheeks - she was INSIDE my body just
                                               moments before this photo. Insane, right?!)

Now, don't get me wrong... as much as the birthing process is scary, it's just as amazing.   And lately, for some bizarre reason, I've been fascinated with animal births.  Yes, you heard me right, animals.  Like cows and elephants.  I know, I'm a freak right?  I'm blaming it on this tv show called The Incredible Dr. Pol.  Have you seen it?  If not, I highly recommend it.  Actually, I'm not sure if I do.  I end up watching with a racing heart, and spending the whole show fearing I'm going to cry, or crying.  It's pretty intense.  So, yeah, this Dr. Pol hero basically rushes around all of creation saving or trying to save thousands of animals.  From rodents to cows.  I've seen them use chains to help pull a baby calf out - it's CRAZY.  So, me and my damn curiosity started youtubing animal births.  I know, I told you, I'm a freak.  But, in the process I found this *amazing* elephant birth story: The Miracle of "Mr Shuffles" on The Zoo.  It's 5 parts... with each part being about 9ish minutes.  (Yes, I spent 45+ minutes today watching an elephant birth. Shut it.)  It was amazing. AMAZING.  I mean, aside from the fact that an elephant pushes out a 260lb baby, it's an awesome story.  And, I mean awesome in the true sense of the word.  So right now, stop reading this.  Go youtube it and be ready to enjoy the next hour of your life.  Unless, you're not a freak like me and animal births do nothing for you.  If not, then I guess you have time to go do some kegals.

Mr Shuffles and I say bye bye for now!